20 Reasons why Delhi Weddings are Cool

So after all the tall tales of how Delhi weddings wag tails, I finally got to experience one. Alas it was not some distant relative (i.e. my uncle's great uncle's daughter, or my grandfather's second cousin's grandson...invitation for such events are always more than likely)...it happened to be my grandfather's brother's grandson...that's not too distant right? Anyways, a marvelous excuse to go to the capital of India if you ask me, and land right in the smack of extravagance. The city was exploding with weddings, they usually happen in heaps, early spring and around the first-second full moon in November. Awesome that the lunar calendar still bares a mark on modern civilizations. So around this time of year, many strange and extraordinary events can be witnessed around India (mind you this is shortly after Diwali, so it more or less seems like the fun just never dies).

Drawing from the experience within the wedding of my lovely dermatologist cousin and his fantastic dentist wife, and from the streets of Delhi itself, I have compiled a list of "20 Reasons why Delhi Weddings are Cool":

1. There are gallant white horses running the same red lights as you
2. The fireworks just never stop, the acoustic alarm clocks are ever present
3. Mehndi (Henna) tattoos are noticeable on 5 of every 8 women
4. The men seem to be wearing deodorant
5. Brass bands fill the street, costumed. At the end of the night, 15 men with brass instruments usually pack into a 3-wheeled autorickshaw built for 5 people
6. Hello random elephant
7. You can either be wearing a tuxedo or pajamas (aka kurthas = oversized shirts and somewhat tight fitting cloth pants -- with an oversized waist ... I think the original Indian men must have looked something like a tall Homer Simpson)...oh, did I mention curly toed slippers?
8. Women get to wear their most colourful and closeted saris
9. If an aunty who you haven't seen in 20 years appears and recognizes you, you get your cheeks pinched
10.Uncles insist on doing alcoholic shots with their kids and their grown up friends
11.Everything is significant and symbolic during the ceremony: from throwing sandalwood and herbs into the fire, to putting a veil of pearls around the groom's eyes (whoopsy baby: you can't see me!!)
12.When you ask a man (who you will usually call uncle, whether you don't know their name or have forgotten it) "how are you doing?", you sometimes get responses like "A-1, First-Class, 150%"
13.There is usually secret matchmaking going on behind your back if your cousins or aunts find out you are a bachelor
14.It's the one time of the year that servants and drivers get to party with everyone
15.Every secret Indian recipe comes out of the closet and get thrown into the buffet, and for good measure Italian salads, Chinese noodles and American ketchup can usually be found nearby
16.If you are meeting someone for the first time, it's fun to put your stopwatch on and time it till when they ask you "So ______ (<- your name here), what do you do?" ...then give a prize, like a dessert from the buffet, at the end of the night to the person who discovered where you work the fastest
17.People aren't afraid to dance
18.There are usually recognizable dance styles on the dance floors, themes/influences if you will: Indian Classical (Kathak, Bharatanatyam), Bollywood, Drunk fusions, and line dancing generally
19.The brides have about 50 pounds of jewelery on, it's a "clink" "clink" fest wherever they go
20.You feel more Indian after you left the wedding than before you walked in...like an A-1, First Class, 150% Indian.